It isn’t often that I run into two artists in such a short time.  I ran into Kurt Halsey because I was looking into Amy Rice.  They both do work at the Art Star Gallery, and thus I ran into Kurt’s work.  At first, I was sort of ignoring his work because the cartoonish characters seemed so - well, Precious Moments.  But then I clicked on a couple of them and realized I was SO very wrong.  Kurt hails from Racine, Wisconsin and went to MIAD here, which means I’m pretty stoked to have come across him.

The figures in Kurt’s work have natural positions, many of which are very intimate and real - putting you into the emotion.  There’s an emptiness that leaves you to fill in the feeling.  Many of the pieces are collage pieces like the first one below, and the choice of media fits the pieces of thought included. 

    

Some of them are poignant moments of love and closeness.  Others are powerfully painful (see the next one below).  Others seem to catch a meaningful moment - and not a moment associated with love.  Some even have a wry humor that isn’t easily captured in stasis.  Whatever they are, they are poetry and art.

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To he who has brought so much sunshine into my life. 

Happy Birthday!

Love,

BC

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I ran into the art of Amy Rice at Paper Boat Boutique in Bay View the other weekend.  Something about her work really makes an impact on me.  The stencil style of the figures over the unique backgrounds (reclaimed wood, pages of old books, leaves of musical notation) combined with the symbolism of the pieces made this the first unknown art I’ve run into in a long time that I actually desire to put on my wall.  And not just a print, but an actual piece.  It feels as if there is a thread of innocence that resonates in me when I look at the images.  I think of youth and freshness.

 Two samples below.  The first was the piece I was considering purchasing - but it was not for sale.  It also wouldn’t have been in my budget right now either.

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I’ve been working nonstop for several weeks now - every night taking work home, working on weekends, etc.  So, yesterday IGB and I decided we were going to go antiquing - for nothing in particular.  We had several places on the list to go.

Oh.my.god.  We only got through ONE floor of the Fox Skylight Gallery in 4 hours.  We had to go back Sunday for the Third floor and basement.  We found several very interesting books, a great many frames for our Family wall (when it is closer to done, I will post pics), and …hats. 

I didn’t know I was a collector.  I really didn’t.  I thought I was interested, and I had a few pieces, and I knew I had taste in quality.  But now I own four more hats than I did Friday.   Here are examples of two I picked up:

They were all of great prices and fit pretty well (apparently, I do well with most 22s).  There were many more I really wanted, but managed to control myself…at least a little.   I own these two, along with a magenta and a brown one.  Really, quite reasonable, if I do say so myself.

It shouldn’t have been such a surprise for me that I have something of an addiction collection. The night before, I was caught wearing this 30’s-style hat at a performance (and it stayed on!) 

 

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In visiting Demode today, I ran across a link that took me to another link, and as the journey usually goes, some wild jaunt into another area.  Well, I ended up finding some top notch Victorian costuming sites that I’d not found before.  I thought I’d share because - well - I’m just friendly like that.

First is Vintage Victorian, where I found the reference library.  There, they have images of dresses from various eras, complete with description of what makes them up.  THAT is huge to someone like me who is always looking to create costuming usually from pictures I find.  For example, this Victorian evening dress to the right is described as follows:

Evening Dress.

Figure 1: Evening dress of white and pink; the underskirt is of white satin, kilted in front, and trimmed with Mechlin lace, and a garland of pink roses. The overdress is of pink silk, is made like a polonaise, low neck and short sleeves, and is trimmed to correspond with underskirt with lace and flowers. Low corsage and short sleeves, with bertha of lace and flowers. Flowers on dress to match those on hair.
 

March 1880, Godey’s Lady’s Book.

Invaluable resource for those with costuming interests.  Additionally, the many pictures are good for MacGuyvers like myself who put together costumes in a haphazard and extemporaneous fashion.

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Next, for those who sew (or want to sew, such as myself) I found an interesting site from Wisconsin - State Historical Society’s Patterns of History.  With actual outfits as their base, they created patterns for those who are crafty to create high quality results.  Image from their site - from the page on the History of the 1874 Bustled Dinner Gown.Don’t you just love the intricacy of the detail of those costumes?  Even the hairstyle is easy to see.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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 Next is Truly Victorian, which also sells patterns.  However, the handy part of this site is that the majority of the patterns have a sample finished piece to show you the results of the costuming.  Now, this isn’t completely uncommon, but the fabrics used and the decoration added are sometimes questionnable, or give a really modern look to dress that would normally be much different looking.  For example, this tea gown.  And some of the results are shown ON people, which is always nice too.

 

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The last three are put together for a couple of reasons.  First is Your Wardrobe Unlocked, the costume maker’s companion.  I can’t tell you a whole lot about this site because, well, you have to pay to be a member and really read what is on it.  It describes itself as an online magazine for anyone who is passionate about making outstanding historical costuming.  It says it has images, information, classes, tips and more.  However, the cost is $10 per month.  It sounds simply awesome, however, and I am contemplating getting into it right after I learn how to sew in a straight line with a machine.

 

The second is Trystan’s Closet.  I have to give her a shout out because I simply adore this Robe a la Francaise.  It is simply a beautiful creation, and her description of how she made the shoes to go with it was extremely informative.  I love the photos too.  I personally think this is the best costume on the site, and the one that appears the most accurately portrayed, from the costume itself to the presentation.

 

Finally, I am interested - and thought you might be too - in checking out this FrockFlicks podcast, which Trystan appears to be a part of.

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Today, I read an article about how Apple, Inc. is suing New York City (aka, the Big Apple) for their environmental logo.  The claim by Apple is:

• the New York logo was “likely to cause confusion, mistake or deception in the minds of consumers.”

AND

• their internationally known logo was the one true corporate representation of tree-borne fruit.

So what do you think?  Here are the two logos, side by side. 

I think I understand though - Apple, Inc. is just paying forward their experience with Apple Records (or Apple Corp) which sued them in the seventies for use of the logo.   

The result of that litigation is that $80K went to Apple Records, and Apple Inc agreed to stay out of the music business.  That was until, in 2003, Apple opened its iTunes music store and the fight renewed.  Apple Corps lost that legal battle, but Apple, Inc. and Apple Corps settled their continued disputes privately not long after that.  Take a look at the logo comparison, and you can see why Apple, Inc. might have originally said, “What the heck?” (and if we included the original rainbow apple from the 70’s/80’s, it would be even more of a difference.)

Still, it doesn’t appear that Apple Corps ever claimed that it was the “one true corporate representation of tree-borne fruit.”  But Apple, Inc. appears to have learned a lesson from all of this - and apple is an apple is an apple, and they all should belong to Steve Jobs.

Seriously, Apple thinks people might become confused about the logos because all apples reference Apple, Inc.?   Even when New York City has been called the Big Apple since the 1800’s? Look out Adam and Eve and the story of creation! (hat-tip to a comment to the original article.)

Additionally, NYC’s goals are for environmental awareness and efforts to make the city greener.  Apple, Inc. is fighting a positive reform action that NYC is trying to take.

And the reasoning isn’t exactly parallel to the previous case where Apple Corp said, “Hey man, just keep your Apple out of the music business and we’ll be cool.” Apple, Inc. is claiming it owns the image of apples - in any corporate market.  ONE TRUE CORPORATE REPRESENTATION OF TREE-BORNE FRUIT.  Does that include plums and pears, as well as other tree-borne fruit?  Can you “own” the image of something natural?  Or is it really that you can own an interpretation of that natural item?

It really sounds a lot like fundamentalism.  “One true corporate representation” is eerily close to “one true God,” don’t you think?

I feel I have a message for Apple, Inc. : There’s this term called HUBRIS.  You should look it up.  It’s almost always accompanied by a great fall.

[Edit - Check out the Complaint filed by Jizo Sama.  Hilarious.]

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Today I was reading Brazen Careerist and noticed Penelope referenced her ex-husband.  Click the link and, sure enough, she’s getting a divorce. 

As you may know, I am also getting a divorce.  The reasons are not the world’s business, and unlike Penelope, this blog is not the right medium for discussion regarding that background.  Suffice it to say, it was unhealthy to remain there and we are jointly filing.

But in reading the comments to her blog post about the decision to get a divorce - and her internal drive to always look forward and move on - I noticed that the world might need to be disabused of a few notions regarding divorce, or in some cases, any end of a long-term relationship. 

Ready?  Ok, let’s go.

1.   Divorce Means You Didn’t/Don’t Love Your Spouse (Or Breaking Up Means You Didn’t/Don’t Love Your Partner)

I’m putting this one first because I’m pretty sure that in 99% of the cases, this is not true.  I repeat, not true.  And the majority of people getting a divorce - or even breaking up from a long-term relationship - DO,  in fact, continue to love the person they started the relationship with.  Relationships don’t work for many many reasons, but rarely because the emotion wasn’t there.

Relationships are crazy things, and they can end because of lack of respect, lack of trust, lack of interest, and yes, even lack of love.  Committments can end because people have changed and they no longer see life the same way.  They can end because one side cannot give as much as the other side, or because they have grown to want other things.  Relationships can end because you hurt each other so much that it is not possible to go back and fix those wounds and live a full, happy life. 

Please stop thinking that “love” has anything to do with why two people don’t stay together.

So you’re saying, “Oh, if you loved each other, then the problem must be that…”

2.  Divorce Means You Weren’t Committed

Oh My God.  If I hear any of the following ever again, it will be too soon:

• Guess ’till death do us part’ doesn’t apply here.
• People these days just don’t want to work on their marriages.
• Everyone always gives up when the going gets rough.
• For better or for worse has become when it is no longer convenient.
• People used to stay together in marriage and find a way to make it work.
• Are you sure you tried everything to make it work?  It can’t be saved?  There’s no hope?

I thought I’d give a head’s up:  many (probably most) of us have worked on our relationships.  Quite a bit, with a lot of blood, sweat and tears.  We don’t want to get divorces.  We go into marriages with the intention of staying together forever, of being with that person till we are old and grey.  We buy into all of that, and believe it with all of our hearts.  Otherwise, we wouldn’t get married in the first place.

Why is it when someone breaks up with a long-term boy/girlfriend, they are supported and encouraged to start fresh, but when your marriage breaks up, you are a pariah and just didn’t give it enough time/energy/committment/love/effort?  Why is the contract of marriage more drama than the contract of relationship?  Why does that allow someone to judge me more than someone else? 

Sometimes, you can’t fix things.  Sometimes, it would take more energy than you have left in you to fix that relationship.  Things like respect, trust, intimacy - these all are hard to gain back.  Perhaps you thought you could fix it, but it required some sacrifices from the other half that they weren’t willing to live with.  Maybe, just maybe, you aren’t the same people you were, and you both will be healthier and happier separated. 

No one chastises you for ending a contract in business.  You move on when the deal no longer works for the parties involved.  Guess what - it’s like that here too.

Well, you’re now saying: So you tried to fix it.  That must mean that…

3. A Divorced Person has Issues

Oh yes.  I have three points here:

• Someone is mentally/physically/emotionally damaged and that’s why things didn’t work out. 

While true that one or more people in the relationship may have issues, that does not mean that the issue is the sole reason the relationship didn’t work out.  Thank you, but when a major relationship fails, we are more than capable of blaming ourselves for everything, so you don’t need to contribute.  Yes, we should look at things clearly and honestly, but rarely is one thing the source of the end of a relationship.  And, sometimes you are damaged as a result of the relationship.  Well I guess that means…

• Now you’re damaged goods.

Thanks - I needed the vote of confidence.  Don’t worry, I’m already thinking that, somehow, my failed marriage means that I am not fit to give advice, be a good friend, be a quality employee, or be a health individual.  It’s part of the process of dealing with the ending relationship.  We look to assign the blame.  It doesn’t mean any of those things.  AND - It also doesn’t mean that I cannot have quality relationships that are long-lasting. It doesn’t mean I can’t marry again.  It doesn’t mean that other marriages will fail. 

• One person is responsible for the divorce because they….

I’ve got a news flash - no one person is ever responsible for the end of a relationship.  It always involves poor decisions and actions of both parties.  And yes, I’m using the word “always“. Because it is truth.  It is never that one person didn’t sacrifice enough.  Even abusive relationships involve poor decisions on the part of both people.  Owning up to one’s appropriate portion of responsibility is part of the healing process.

Regardless, after a relationship ends, you must need…

4.  Prescription for Some Time Alone

It always seems like people know what is best for you.  After a long relationship breaks up, that means you should spend some time “with yourself” - aka, stay single, and perhaps you shouldn’t even date for a while.

Ostensibly, this means any of the following: finding yourself, resolving your issues, avoiding a rebound, process what has happened, be single to kill any dependency issues, figure out if the reason your relationship tanked is because you are screwed up. 

This may be something that people need to do after a break-up - I cannot deny that, and I’ve done it before.  However, it is not a universal prescription for every person, and may not apply to every situation.  Some people feel it important to have time to have time alone after a breakup to process what happened and how they feel.  Others might have spent plenty of time doing that during the relationship.  Each situation is unique. 

Overall, it isn’t bad advice - but one must temper it with the fact that it may not apply to the person you are talking to.  And really, it isn’t your place to judge what is right for another person.  So if someone starts dating soon after a breakup, keep your snotty whispers to yourself.  It’s part of moving on. 

Conversely, if someone decides they want to take some time to themselves, as long as they aren’t throwing a rope over the rafters, be their friend and don’t pressure them to get back into the game. 

5.  The Fact that it Ended Means It Had No Value

There’s a quote I want to share. 

There’s a trick to the Graceful Exit.  It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, a relationship is over — and to let go.  It means leaving what’s over without denying its value.

–Ellen Goodman 

This piece of advice might apply better to those having the break-up as well as onlookers.  Yes.  It didn’t work.  That doesn’t mean there weren’t good things about it.  That doesn’t mean I’m happy about the fact that it ended, or that I would change my mind at this point.  I find a tendency out there to completely trash the whole past rather than accept the growth one got from it and move on. 

Frankly, I think this is tragic - and I don’t use that word often.  People make choices based on the person they were at that time.  People change.  But to look back and denigrate what choices you made with the information you had at the time is to not only belittle where you were then, but also all the growth you’ve experienced and where you are now.

6. It’s a Sad Thing, Not Always a Bad Thing

I don’t want a cake.  I don’t want drinks.  I don’t want a party.  It isn’t something happy for me to be getting a divorce, so when it is final, I’m not expecting to whoop it up around town and declare - Whee!  I’m a free woman again!  I am grateful now that I got out while it was still time to salvage myself from more damage.  I’m not going to toast the passing of a relationship.  I might sigh in relief when it is all done because it is sad, annoying and painful, even more so if you have children.

It’s a passage, and it deserves some respect. 

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[ Upon returning to the blogosphere, I find I had this post in my unfinished posts section.  Reading it months later, I’m posting it as is.  It represents a time, a place…and to try and alter it now would not do it the justice of the expression of that moment.  And to be honest, I don’t remember what it was about.]

I think we would be also pretty well served to consider dancing like traveling.  We can look back at where we’ve come from.  We can take a snapshot of where we are, and we can look at the map of where we are going. But we don’t know what that will look like when we get there.  So we should embrace each stop along the way, recognize how it is different and the same.

And that is what makes up our dance, that is what gives it depth.  If you are in the same place, and your travel has ended, then you only have the stories that you have learned up to that spot to tell in your dance.

If you view your travel as continuing over the horizon of what you know is out there, then think of all the tales you will have to tell in your movements!

I was completely floored when my private dance instructor called me a “professional” and “passionate” dancer. I immediately discredited that statement. Silly me. It wasn’t inaccurate. But for some reason, we cannot accept positive things well in our culture.

We have a huge image issue with embracing what we are, and where we are going RIGHT NOW. We are constantly looking back at how bad we were, or looking forward at what we are not yet. Thus, we limit ourselves by refusing to acknowledge the NOW. The pressure of the past and of the future keep us firmly entrenched, stagnant.

And I’d agree with mrsmalkav - others often try to keep you down if you do claim rightful titles, or dare label yourself. Thus the scramble for certifications in the bellydance community. It’s a dancer being able to say - see? I’ve got proof from some outside authority that I am worthwhile. Instead of looking at my dance, look at my papered walls. (please note, that I like certifications and am not dissin’ certifications. I’m questioning some dancers’ NEED to strive for certification rather than striving to be a better dancer. We all know people like this.)

There’s a difference between hubris and courage, but I think we’ve gotten it mixed up. It’s courage to strive for what you want, and to put yourself out there into a challenge. Hubris is to assume superiority, to enter a situation already putting oneself above the others.

More dancers should bite off more than they can chew. Right now they might say, “Look at her trying to be more than us.” But later they could all be saying, “Look at the chances she took to get where she is today. I wish I could be like her.” Do we even know where our limitations truly lie till we press beyond our horizons?

Dancers have to be courageous. Courage is the warp to the art we weave….Every step, every turn, every expression - an act of courage.

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I’m back.  Let’s just say I needed to do some housecleaning.

We’ve added a few blog topics.  One is marked on this one - Urban Lens Report.  That’s going to be mini updates on me and stuff I’m doing. That will be the general place I put my personal travels, photos, and general updates about me. 

Another is Holy Roll Call.  I have a mini fascination with all Jesus/Mary/Holy Ghost sightings.  For that matter, perhaps just ghost sightings.  Let me tell you, I am constantly astounded by these.  So I will help you be astounded too.

Then there’s Public Displays of Ignorance.  I’ve noticed an ever-growing trend to committ heinous acts of misspellings into permanent public print/display.  I’m not talking about webpages or other internet sources, but items like signage, monuments, and more.  I welcome people sending me images of ones they find as well.

Finally, Wisconsin Ways.  I’m learning more and more about my state and the crazy things that happen here, and sometimes I just want to share it with the world.  So I’m going to do that, as best I can.

We’ll see about dismantling some of the other categories after some time to make sure that they are no longer useful. 

Here’s looking to some more activity.  Welcome back folks.

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